


go with god.

by Sam (iStuhler)



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-13 05:00:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16886073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iStuhler/pseuds/Sam
Summary: he can’t quite process it. he’d only just found her and now she's gone, her body laying limp in the bed. claire is holding the child, fussing as newborns do, but the look in her eyes is anything but that of a happy new grandmother.(in other words, an alternate universe where things go horribly wrong. here there be spoilers.)





	go with god.

he can’t quite process it. he’d only just found her and now she's gone, her body laying limp in the bed. claire is holding the child, fussing as newborns do, but the look in her eyes is anything but that of a happy new grandmother.

brianna’s hand is still in jamie’s, crescents still in his skin from how tightly she’d been gripping his hand. his throat aches from talking with her for hours, for singing — chanting, really — to her, telling her stories about anything and everything, until the bairn had seen fit to come… and then he had, and the blood with it…  _christ_ , the blood…

the child is handed to phaedre, and claire sinks down next to him. he hears her speak, as if they’re under water — she says something about going into shock, her voice thin and wavering, and jamie is sure that whatever she’s speaking of experiencing, he is too.

he reaches out and touches brianna’s cheek, still so warm. if he shuts his eyes, he can imagine her smiling up at him. he can hear her voice, saying ‘it’s alright, da. it’s  _alright_.’ but he opens them again and sees her, so still, so…

“go wi’ god, lass,” he says, his voice barely a whisper. next to him, claire’s arms wrap around jamie’s own, her face pressed to his arm. he can feel dampness soaking through his shirtsleeve. “she’s wi’ her sister now. faith will see her safe.”

once they’re back at the ridge, it’s as quiet as it can be with a newborn baby. he has no name for the longest time, until roger shows up at the ridge. jamie lets claire tell him the news, though he watches from the window as she speaks, sets her hand on his shoulder… jamie sees the man’s head bow, his shoulders start to shake… but his head jerks up as she continues. the baby, she must be telling him about the  _baby_.

jamie thinks for a while that roger will walk back into the trees, disappearing for good… but instead he comes to the house, and asks: “where’s my son?”

life settles into a routine, with roger pouring everything that he has into caring for the baby, who he’s decided to name ‘jeremiah brian mackenzie’ after his father and brianna. he and jamie make amends, and it doesn’t take too long before they all grow comfortable, becoming a family again.

jamie’s voice still cracks whenever he says brianna’s name. claire still can’t speak of her without tears. roger hasn’t said ‘brianna’ once since the day he’d arrived.

and jamie, every night after his long day of work, goes to her gravestone, telling her everything that had happened that day. he brings the baby some days, letting the child lay on the grass and chew on a horse’s shoe or a wooden toy jamie had carved him.

“i wish ye could see him grow old,” he says softly to her one evening after a long day of working in the field. “i wish ye could see yer man, roger mac… he looks after the babe so  _well_  brianna, ye’d be so  _proud_  —“ his voice cracks, and he stands, brushing off some grass from his breeks.

“tha mi 'n dòchas gu bheil thu toilichte ge bith càite bheil thu, mo nighean.”  _i hope you’re happy, wherever you are, my daughter._


End file.
